For those of you who had crippling bowelitis - and therefore the only excuse not to attend - you missed something special.

Some came for the opportunity to pitch us a game idea and win an internship; some came to laugh at the embarrassingly bad ideas being pitched; some came for the miniscule amount of free booze - but everyone left having seen a large topless man rub himself down in baby oil and smash a massive gong.

In the tradition of the Olympics, the opening ceremony involved dancers. Therefore, a pair of b-boys wriggled along the floor for a while, until it was time for the main event. Hosted by our very own Rob Yescombe, and judged by Dave ‘Double D' Doak, Karl ‘Playboy' Hilton, Steve ‘Steve-1000' Ellis, and ‘Frantic' of the PMS clan, the stage was set for humiliation - and they came in droves.

There was only one rule: don't bore the judges. However, many of the guests decided not to pay attention to this - particularly the winner of the Laziest Idea Award, which went to "Grand Theft Auto in a prison". One by one, this group of badass wannabes stood on stage in front of a few hundred drunks, and pitched like their lives depended on it. Hands quivered, mouths stammered, but eventually two young men emerged victorious.

The winning ideas – and therefore our two new interns – were Simon Vickers’ Lederhosen Rhythm Action Game, with a pair of trouser peripherals that are “Wii compatable”; and a clever little ‘Raindrop Racing Game’ devised by some guy who’s name I can’t remember, where you apply moisture, heat and wind to try and beat your opponent’s drop down a window pane.

These two slick young dudes will be enjoying a luxurious vacation from their daily lives to spend two long weeks in our foul-smelling offices.

After an hour of pitching, all the guests were ready for some Guitar Hero - so that's what they got, on the tiniest screen ever. Some guy in a cravat won. We still owe him £50.

By now, it was time to clear the place out, so a couple of bands went on who played to an empty dance floor until they got annoyed and left.

When asked what it was like to be our half naked centrepiece, GongMaster Kevin said yesterday, "I honestly can't remember. I've had a bit of a heavy weekend. It was a bit chilly I suppose."

We congratulate the winners, and commend the losers - and we fully expect to see them all again next year for The Free Radical Gong of Terror 2007.

Peace out.